Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Unconditional Love

Do  you know what it feels like to be loved?  Not because you are returning love or because of some kind of exchange, as in “Love me and I will love you!”  but just to be loved for no other reason then that you exist.  I recently had a conversation with a young lady who has just discovered this.  We agreed that it is daunting.  There is no expectation, no understanding, no agreement, just love.  She keeps looking for the catch and there is none.  For most of us, our relationships tend to revolve around agreements, e.g. ; I will live with you if you will live with me and reflect who I am in the manner that I expect.  That is how most relationships are.  However, when someone says they love you with no expectation of return, that is, or can be, intimidating.  It kind of puts you in the position of wondering what is going on.  Are they hustling me?  Is there something I don’t understand here?  And you might look over your shoulder and wonder if maybe this person got the wrong guy/girl.  What is funny is that a lot of people will deliberately do something to push the person who is doing the loving away because it just is too much to deal with.  And they will do this pushing away quite unconsciously.  So what can we do to accept Love in our lives?
The first and foremost step is to recognize that, despite our many flaws - all of whom show up at these moments - we are essentially lovable.  This may be the biggest hurdle to get over, that we are loved even though we are quite convinced that we do not deserve it.  It has nothing to do with what you deserve and has everything to do with Divine recognition.  Something about you stirs an essential response in the person who is loving you and they find it in themselves to acknowledge it.  In the case of a spiritual teacher or someone in that category this sort of thing is more or less expected though it can be none the less daunting.  When it comes from an individual who is shining the searchlight of their recognition directly upon you personally – well that can be quite uncomfortable.  
In the case of my young friend it was almost terrifying.  She kept telling me that no one in her life had ever allowed her to be who she is, and that may be key.  
People who express love to others almost always do so with some kind of demand.  It can be subtle but it will almost always be there.  Think about your own expressions.  Do you say, “I love you,” with an expectation of hearing it back in return?  Do you say it from an overwhelming emotion of deep recognition of the soul of the person before you or is it more in the line of some kind of need for acknowledgment.  This can be true even of a mother telling a child they love them, though that does tend to be closer to unconditional.  I suspect that, for most of us, any expression of unconditional love has to be preceded by a deep understanding of our own flaws and a willingness to be totally vulnerable with no expectation of any kind of response or return.  Which should give us a profound clue as to the true nature of the Divine Being or the Thinking Universe or however we accept the Over soul.  
Love & Blessings, Musawwir

7 comments:

Candace said...

Thankyou for your comliments on my poem, I'm glad you liked it, it's a blog we have to do for my creative writing class. Hope to hear from you again.

*Laters*

Rachel said...

to be loved because you exist is a luxury most of us have not experienced.it is a negation of cause and effect it is mind boggling to think one can be unconditionally loved without a reason or without any expectations it is like floating souls that love and radiate no responsibility no strings a kind of human condition that emanates from the power that is within us all

Candace said...

Yes i have to keep up the blog for my creative writing class. Your editor? So your in the field of journalism? Thats what I want to go into.

*laters*

Qalbi said...

I always think about this, because I love my guide so much and am amazed that I actually believe that she won't leave me, in the sense of worldly love. I may say this very clumsily, but I mean that I've never understood that love is about my relationship to MY higher power (maybe myself too?) and that it is about TRUST! As in trusting that love just is, I can't do anything to ruin it or make it happen. Sort of like the sun's warmth. And it's not that I don't love others well, it's my ability to feel loved that is the broken link for me. hhmm, I feel self-conscious posting this, but oh well...

Ali said...

Unconditional love really does know no bounds
I think that young lady you speak of is someone quite special isn't she?

Ms Burden - formely known as Laila said...

I really loved this post. It was amazingly well written. It's pretty hard to talk about love. I enjoyed it so much that I would like to post it in my blog... if you don't mind, of course.

Can I?
Take Care

Nurelhuda said...

I begin to understand this love. It is when I look at a patient and see the suffering and I see them exposed to things they are too sensitive to bear and I wish I could protect them and I do not expect anything but to see them safe if I in some small way manage to ease their suffering..usually with nothing but a prayer and a touch.....