Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Accomplishment

Yesterday I received the galley proof of my book, the final step before publication. Wow! I saw the mailman arrive at our apartment building and went downstairs to hover while he distributed mail to all the boxes. Finally he came to the magazines and packages and gracefully pulled mine out. Two copies of the book! This is my first look at the reorganization of chapters and seeing the whole thing, not just pieces and parts that I was expected to review and approve. Last night I read half of it. I would have read the whole thing but Majida demanded that I go to bed.

When you near the end of a project like this there is a kind of unreal quality to the event. You struggle and struggle to push through, not quite believing that it is in fact happening but still working to keep going. All through this process there has been a part of me that expects it all to collapse at some point. I am not sure how this would happen but something horrible will occur and the whole thing will collapse. I recognize that this is normal thinking for someone from my social strata, the lower middle class, and I labor to ignore the thinking but still it is there. On the other hand, occasionally I feel the coming success to be quite normal and deserved. Maybe not so much deserved as inevitable. There are times when I feel quite ordinary about all of this. That, I think, is the emotion to strive for.

Here is a quote from Hazrat Inayat Khan that has guided me for many years in overcoming my resistance to accomplishment:
You may think, 'But if I keep on with the pursuit of my material desires, perhaps I may never reach the spiritual goal and will never get beyond my desires.' The answer to this is that if you let the desire go unfulfilled and you lack the patience needed to accomplish the desire, your progress will be arrested. This failure will keep you back from spiritual progress. When once you have accomplished one desire, you will have that something which is needed for the accomplishment of something greater. Every desire you accomplish is one step further towards that final goal which every soul ultimately has to reach.”

So what he is saying is that any accomplishment is important, any one at all. Everything is ultimately a spiritual pursuit. So my journey with the book has been one of constant self examination combined with moments of pure creativity. In between were moments of doubt, large malicious moments which seemed deadly and horrible. Then they are over. What you can learn is to see these moments as part of the transformation that you personally are working through so that the whole personality of the planet, of which you are a part, can transform. Isn’t that cool? You work on yourself and work on the whole at the very same time. The trick seems to be patience. What you are doing for yourself doesn’t appear to have much effect on the whole but, with a bit of patience and a bit of optimism, it may be possible to see your accomplishments as a part of the personality of the planet and further the personality of the Universe transforming itself.

Right now, the whole thing is confused and upset because of all the stresses involved in becoming a whole planet rather then disassociated societies that barely acknowledge one another. Anyone who is paying attention can see this. It may seem that we each must become very politically active and march and demand change and what not but maybe that isn’t it at all. Well it might be for some of us but for most it is a bit different. Our attention to our own deepening also deepens the whole planetary personality. It takes awhile and it isn’t always that rewarding but that is how it really works.

Give some thought to your own sense of accomplishment and responsibility and tell me about it.

Love & Blessings, Musawwir

7 comments:

Qalbi said...

Oh, how much fun! I'm in my second week as Clinical Supervisor. I haven't gotten a check yet; I'm very excited at that prospect, but even from the very first day as Queen (or as one of the clients said, "wow, you're The Man now and I love it when a woman gets to be that!" And it does have the price of accomplishment attached. The first bunch of decisions really scared me, I mean like sweat and shakey voice.

It has been very difficult for me to allow myself any measure of success. My guide frequently asks me if I can stand to have my self image ruined by success...

molly said...

Musawwir, Congratulations! i am so happy for your and your first masterpiece. this accomplishment is an inspiration for me to look forward to my own. i feel that some accomplishments are not meant to be shared, but it is so gratifying to find and share those that are.

jules said...

Greteings
Its quite odd im not real good with accomplishments, i seem too miss them. I do what i feel needs to be done, what i feel is right.
Over recent months i have shut down a department in our local hospital, and made some radical changes to hospital policy, and forced the heirarchy to admitt to the staff shortages they had been denying and hire more staff.
Since returning to work after a months leave many people have come and congratulated me on my "accomplishments".
As i write this it sounds very pompous, its not meant to be, but i was dunbfounded at first as i did not know what i was being congratulated for. I did what i saw needed to be done.
Blessings

jules said...

Greteings
Its quite odd im not real good with accomplishments, i seem too miss them. I do what i feel needs to be done, what i feel is right.
Over recent months i have shut down a department in our local hospital, and made some radical changes to hospital policy, and forced the heirarchy to admitt to the staff shortages they had been denying and hire more staff.
Since returning to work after a months leave many people have come and congratulated me on my "accomplishments".
As i write this it sounds very pompous, its not meant to be, but i was dunbfounded at first as i did not know what i was being congratulated for. I did what i saw needed to be done.
Blessings

Ali said...

Great News on the book,
Sometimes I think we need accomplishments or maybe just change to jump start our lives again. We work, and work, and work at our passions but sometimes we get into a rut. These breakthroughs help us get refocused or revived. I too have made about as major a change in my life and already while the change is hard I can feel accomplishments large and small on the horizon.
It has even changed my outlook on romance, and love.
Best wishes to you and continued success.

Anonymous said...

Dear Musawwir, I am so proud of you. I am sure we will all see another book in the near future of yours too.
Love and Blessings,
Shakti

amber said...

well,the biggest accomplishment and the one i am most proud of is change.the ability to change ones self cna be the hardest of all to accomplish and i did it.when i was 14 i got into heavy drugs.was shooting crank by 16 and totally strung out,didnt care if i lived or died really.then on dec 13 1998 my life changed.i found out i was having my 1st baby,i was about 5 weeks along.that day i stopped all drugs which included crank,weed,pills,alcohol,and cigerettes.all at once,just like that.and the weirdest thing,i had no symptoms of withdrawl..none.since having my son i have started smoking cigerettes again but only after my best friend matt died in '04.i have started beauty college and doing well.so i went from a drugged out,jail or grave bound loser,to a mother of 2 beautiful boys and a college student..thats an accomplishment :)