Tuesday, May 01, 2007

LIFE'S TEXTURE

(Part 1)

"The inner life is a journey, and before starting to take it there is a certain preparation necessary. If one is not prepared, there is always the risk of having to return before one has arrived at one's destination. When a person goes on a journey, and when he has to accomplish something, he must know what is necessary on the path and what he must take with him, in order that his journey may become easy and that he may accomplish what he has started to accomplish. The journey one takes in the inner life is as long as the distance between the beginning of life and death, it being the longest journey one ever takes throughout life; and one must have everything prepared, so that after reaching a certain distance one may not have to turn back." Hazrat Inayat Khan

One of the things that a spiritual guide hears frequently is how awful the people they guide think they are. When a person begins to do spiritual work or even when a person begins to get serious about introspection, their mistakes will come up. We all have sinned in one way or another. By sin I mean we have all done something that harms another. We may not want to admit it but our subconscious knows we have some things in our past that we are not proud of or happy about. On the other end is the victim, the person who knows they have been abused by people more powerful than they are for their whole life. So we have sinners and victims and often a combination of the two. And then something happens and the Inner Life beckons.

What happens when the Inner Life beckons isn't nearly as important as the impact that it has on your assumptions about yourself. What the above quote says is that a certain preparation is necessary; I kind of laugh at that part. How can you know? It's like preparing to drive when you have never seen an automobile. What you can do, however; is see the life before the 'what' appeared for what it is. This is your texture.

All of the experiences that go into making our life what it is become our texture. All of it is us. When we discover our Inner Life, assumptions tend to arise that things will suddenly be peaceful, wonderful, sin free. Upon reflection, we will realize that nothing really changes; in fact, now that you have discovered an extra dimension to living, things suddenly seem even more complex. As I mention in my book, it is not unusual for a person who has recently embarked on a spiritual discipline to suddenly realize that they are the world's worst jerk. This person will begin to see all of the flaws in their being and nothing at all seems nice or right or even remotely possible for them because of their many many imperfections. On the other side wonderful things are also happening. There may be realizations about the nature of the Universe, or understandings about the beauty of everyday life. All sorts of things suddenly become clear. One of the things that certainly should become clear is the amount of work to come. Strangely enough this is almost never the case.

It has been my observation that people get a tiny taste of alternative reality and suddenly feel that they understand all of it. I suppose this is normal enough human nature. It seems that we really need to know that we know. That's okay; the kicker is that we also have these flaws that keep creeping into our consciousness. At least they should if we are paying any attention at all. What to do?

I used to try to fix people. I used to try to show them how to stop being flawed. I finally came to my senses and realized that was not very intelligent of me. Flaws are only flaws when you think they are. If you do something when you are 20 that you would not do when you are 40, it does not mean that the 20 year old was wrong. In the 20 year olds world what he did was perfectly normal. You do the best you can with the information you have at the time. And experience slowly teaches you that maybe there are alternatives. Continually going back to the 20 year old with pain and regret is, however; a losing proposition. It's just your texture, it isn't you.

It is a basic of humanity that we learn through our mistakes not our successes. So perhaps our greatest mistakes are those that lead us to examine our truth and thereby discover the Inner Life. Isn't it interesting that it is apparent failure that does this and not wondrous success?

Next blog we can talk about the journey and the accomplishments one may have along the way.

Love & Blessings, Musawwir

HAPPY MAY DAY EVERYONE!


4 comments:

molly said...

I really like this article. Thanks for writing :)

celticgoddess said...

I think we talked about this when I was having a hard time the other day.
Happy May Day
Blessed Be.

Sarala said...

I have friends who, in their 60s, still obsess that their mother didn't love them enough. They see their life as ruined - still! I just don't relate to that. On the other side of the coin, I used to think something was WRONG with me because I DONt get bogged down in regrets. I did the best I could with what I had/knew/was at the time. (And so did everyone else.) I mean I can look back at something I did or a way that I was for awhile and think "what a jerk I was" - and then laugh about it. And if something happens that makes me feel really bad, I consciouly work at working it out for myself - for instance, when the deepest romantic love of my life broke my heart, I worked thru it (it wasn't easy, it was HARD work!) and got over it and freed myself to fully embrace life! (this enable me to welcome him as a friend, an added 'bonus') I hope that I can repeat that response to future 'tragedies'. It just doesn't make sense to me -neither in my head nor in my heart - to carry all that baggage - - at least, that's my conscious awareness - of course, chuckle chuckle, I'm sure you, dear Musawwir, can see the train of baggage I AM dragging behind me that I'm NOT seeing...hopefully it's not TOO much!
Much Love and HAPPY SPRING! I am planting blueberries and strawberries on the roof deck tomorrow, tra la!!!
Sarala

Musawwir said...

Hello My Friends,
A comment was made here that I deleted. It was negative and rude. I know that in some ways this is a public forum but I would really rather not have it become some kind of schoolyard shoving match. Please, if you would like to comment on what someone else has said the do it in a positive manner or don't do it.
Thank you, Musawwir