Friday, November 25, 2005


"My heart has become an ocean, Beloved, since Thou hast poured Thy love into it."
Hazrat Inayat Khan

Long before I knew what a Sufi was I had a copy of Pir Vilayat’s first book, or I guess it was his first book, “Toward The One.” It had a lot of good information in it but it was almost impossible to read because of the type font and the lay out. But, inside was a poster, which I still have somewhere. I had this poster hanging in the wall of my bedroom and I used to sit on my bed and read it over and over. The above quote was the main sentence, larger than all the others, more prominent on the poster. I used to puzzle over this saying, not being sure who the Beloved was. I figured it had to be some kind of reference to God but it certainly was not the God I was taught about, a remote amorphous being who occasionally, and apparently quite randomly, deigned to notice and even less often, interfere in human affairs. I was taught that if one prayed often enough and sincerely enough that I might, just might, get noticed and replied to. How this reply would come was not very well explained but I would have to keep an eye out. It was all very elusive while appearing to be definitive. At least that is my memory of that training.
As has happened to many others, there came a point when I simply stopped paying attention to this training, rejected it, but did not have anything to replace it with. So, as with so many others my age, I became a hippie. That is another story but the point is that the search went on. Even as a pot smoking hippie I knew it too was false. The whole flower child ideal was a kind of illusion, created to respond to an inner pressure to understand the Universe in some way other than the way it had been explained by theologians determined to be in control. So, in the search for something to replace this obviously flawed system I read everything I could find. And that book, “Toward The One” appeared.
So, I would sit on my bed and read the poster over and over. Mostly I would roll the above quote around in my mind, trying to understand what it really meant. Of course the mind is not the proper place for such statements, they belong in the heart but I didn’t know that at the time.
What I firmly believe is that this book, with it’s poster, came to me as a clue or maybe as a kind of starting place. The journey from getting the book to finding my teacher was a long and confusing one but worth every bit of effort expended in both directions. It is as if one is unwittingly drawn to one’s true path through all sorts of little clues that one may or may not understand at the time, probably not. Maybe it doesn’t matter. What is probably more important is for each of us to recognize our own need to be recognized as precious. Little clues come to you that you will not recognize or that you will insist are something else. Perfectly normal. But, when something resonates deep in your being, seemingly more powerfully, as well as more subtly, than other things seem to, then you can allow this resonance to expand and become the road that leads you to who you really are.

Love & Blessing, Musawwir


Anonymous said...

"Toward the One" was a gateway for me, I sat down and read it cover to cover, not able to put it down. The words launched me on the magic carpet.

Now thirty years later, having had the great privilege for many years of being present with Pir Vilayat, one of the great beings of our time , I pause in humble gratitude for his being. Azimat

Anonymous said...

Hmmm. . . .being a pot-smoking hippie doesn't seem "false" to me, just part of the journey toward the One. It makes me think of Red Riding Hood on her way to Grandma's house. She isn't supposed to get off the path, of course, but her disobedience finally allows the wolf to be removed as a menace. I cringe at my old hippie pictures and can hardly bear to watch most Sixties movies, but when it comes to regrets, I'd have to say that there are periods of my life (and America's collective life) that leave me with many more.

Once you hear the One calling your name, it seems to me, it's hard to go any way that is not toward--however hard you try.

Anonymous said...

Dear Musawwir,
I deeply love that quote by Pir Vilayat. I would like to comment, that by opening one's heart allows thy to pour into what is needed, the more it is opened the more it shall pour.
And by the way, your great. Thanks for being you.


Nurelhuda said...

I have had a very full week. I am so tired I just want to rest but I have a sick friend to visit , two in fact and a dinner to go to. I missed an invitation today because of having too many things to do and maybe because of laziness for once I got home , the sweltering heat seemed too much for me to venture out again.Need to be recognised? This week I learned something :In order to be my true self and to render myself the most useful,what I can do needs to be known. Does that make sense?Toward the one..the difference between the need to be recognised then and now is that the need to be recognised now is secondary to the need to be of service.

Leah said...

This jumped out at me "Of course the mind is not the proper place for such statements, they belong in the heart but I didn’t know that at the time."
Also "It is as if one is unwittingly drawn to one’s true path through all sorts of little clues that one may or may not understand at the time, probably not. Maybe it doesn’t matter."
It is how I feel is why. I can't understand it at all, but yes.. I drawn.. as the moth to the flame. I should look into "Toward the One" 'Anonymous' liked it. I rather do like the quote on the poster.. you knew I would. ~leah~

Leah said...

I understand this now.. I burst. I carry a great river in me. I close my eyes and yet I see. How good things are. I want to read and learn, but the important things I carry within me now. When I close my eyes what do I see? I seek knowledge but my own path has already been chosen for me. LmL